#blasphemy i tell you

[krillonthegrill]

max caulfield nsfw art without her body covered in freckles is like an angel without wings

[pixelated-glitter]

realest shit i ever did see

born to be Mcdoon forced to be unable to Mcswoon

[justagaycryptid]

ok so Radahn canonically is the only demigod who has a horse but I thought it would be fun to speculate about what horses the other demigods would have if they did have horses, plus sharing my own headcanons for Leonard, though I’m just doing stuff from the base game

Morgott: Percheron; something large and drafty but with a gentle, yet proud temperament (though for humor’s sake I would give him a Fell Pony if only because of the name. But realistically a Percheron would suit him better)

Mohg: Friesian; flashy and dark, to fit with his aesthetic ofc

Godwyn: Maybe a Lipizzaner or a Lusitano. Tbh I’ve got no justification other than vibes

Radahn: ok he already has a horse but since Leonard doesn’t have a canon breed I’d say he’s an Arabian. His model kinda has a bit of a dished face if you squint, also I think it would be fun. In his prime this horse was an absolute asshole and only liked Radahn. A little spitfire with an attitude that could keep up with the young demigod

Ranni: Welsh Cob; an intelligent, yet gentle breed with a calm and friendly temperament.

Rykard: Akhal-Teke; specifically a champagne Akhal-Teke. You cannot tell me that Rykard would not go for such a flashy and sought after breed, especially considering the metallic sheen of their coats

Malenia: Maybe before the rot became as bad as it got she may have had a Courser; a quick and agile horse prized for its use in battle. A companion well suited to The Undefeated Swordswoman. I’d imagine when the rot started to affect others around her and her horse became afflicted she felt a deep guilt about it.

Miquella: Fjord; something small, unassuming, and that would be suited to the cold considering that you have to pass through the Consecrated Snowfields to get to the Haligtree

Godrick: I mean he can’t ride a horse anymore but before he started all the grafting maybe he had an Andalusian, a breed favored by nobility.

Rennala: Not a demigod but I’m not gonna leave her out. Anyways I’d give her a Palfrey. Technically not a specific breed but more of a general term for a smooth gaited horse that was prized as a docile riding horse in the Middle Ages.

And then as a bonus this is what I think some of the other horses present in the game are with no explanation

Tree Sentinel: Jutland

Night’s Cavalry Funeral Steed: Hackney

Royal Knight Loretta: Destrier

Draconic Tree Sentinel: Suffolk Punch

Torrent: In the game he is admittedly more goat-like than horse, but if I were to pick a breed to base him off of it would be an Irish Cob

[trensu]

ETA: now on ao3 as Hawkins Halfway House for Homeless Horrors

ETA2: now with an additional snippet

okay, how's this for an AU

We know that Steve wants to be a dad. Like, his literal life dream is to have a minimum of six children. SIX. who wants that?? crazy people, that's who. but we forgive him his insanity because he's sweet and will actually probably be a really good dad and there's not enough of those in the world.

the downer is that it's the late 90s, he's a (still) single guy in his thirties, and every adoption agency on the planet would rather give their children to a heteronormative couple who don't even want kids than to a single dude who would dedicate his heart and soul to giving his kids a happy healthy home.

He's bemoaning his fate to Robin at a bar they recently discovered. It's a weird little joint, kinda tucked away on the outskirts where Steve could've sworn didn't exist just last week. The patrons were kinda weird too but neither he or Robin could put their finger on why or how. If Steve had been a little less miserable, and Robin a little less caught up in comforting him, they might've noticed how everyone else in the bar kept sneaking curious glances at them or how they somehow always kept most of their features hidden.

They didn't though. Even when they were interrupted by a handsome black gentleman who called himself Jeff. Jeff said that he couldn't help but overhear their dilemma and that he's actually part of an agency that is more open minded about potential foster or adoptive parents. Steve's a little deeper in his cups than he intended, and doesn't question that some random guy in a bar is offering him a chance of having children. Robin is not as far in her cups and finds it a bit suspicious.

She was going to say something about it but Jeff looked her in the eye and said, "Everything is fine. There's no reason to worry. I'm only trying to help."

"You're only trying to help," Robin murmured back blearily. "Everything is fine. Yeah. Yeah, 'm not worried."

Jeff gives Steve his card and tells him he can stop by the very next day if he'd like, since his schedule is open.

The next day, Steve is regretting having gotten so drunk. Not really because of the hangover (though holy shit, he is NOT twenty anymore he needs to stop drinking like one). No. It's because Jeff had just finished giving him a tour of the facility full of rambunctious children in need of a home.

Actually, that had been pretty okay even if the other adults in the facility startled at the sight of him and the children kept ducking into other rooms to hide from him.

No. It's because Jeff had just introduced him to a child named Dustin who sneezed unexpectedly and somehow turned into a kitten.

"Um," Steve said. Jeff sighed.

"Dustin hasn't gotten back control over his shapeshifting since his mother's passing, but I assure you he's been improving."

"...shapeshifting," Steve said, numbly.

"Yes. Dustin tends to go for cat shapes, like his mother did." Jeff bends down to pick up the loudly mewing tabby kitten. "We've managed to get him to shift mostly into a domestic shorthair, rather than a cougar cub."

"That's great," Steve squeaked as he tried to tamp down the growing hysteria in him. "Really, really great. Y'know what, Jeff, this whole thing's been great but I think I'm still kind of drunk so I'm just gonna go--"

"No, wait," Jeff says, quickly placing the Dustin kitten on his shoulder before reaching out to grab Steve by the elbow. "Please. Look, you seem like a good guy. I did a quick scan of you and everything, and I really think if you'd take a moment to sit down and--"

"JEFFORD BILLANY JONES."

Jeff's shoulders hunched, nearly dislodging Dustin from his shoulder. He sighed again and turned to face the man storming towards him and Steve.

"Eddy, you know none of that is my name."

"I'll call you whatever I want since for some unfathomable reason, you've brought a human into my sanctuary. Why is there a human in my home, Jeffamy."

"Eddy, let me explain."

"It's Eddie in front of the human," Eddie said.

Steve's brain was experiencing some sort of malfunction because Jeff had been calling this man Eddie, except if he concentrated, the way Jeff said Eddie and the way Eddie had said Eddie sounded very very different except it hadn't because they both sounded like Eddie except for how Jeff's Eddie sounded different from, the same as, different, just like--

A pair of ringed fingers snapped aggressively in front of his face, startling Steve from an impending aneurysm.

"You. Who are you, who sent you, what do you want."

Steve stuttered something incoherent. He's pretty sure he's had a mental break from reality. There was some sort of sentient black sludge creeping across the tiled floor, wrapping a tendril around Jeff's leg.

"What is that?" Steve squawked. Jeff beamed at him.

"Oh, this is El! She's a Monster Under the Bed. She hasn't decided on a form yet, but that's okay, we love her just as she is."

"Jeff," Eddie snapped. Jeff looked at Eddie stubbornly.

"You told me we needed all hands on deck."

"How dare you, I'd never stoop to using boat metaphors."

"Don't distract me with blatant lies. Eddy, you said we needed help. You said you'd take anyone at this point."

Steve has not been able to stop staring at the sludge creature (El?). He's beginning to realize that he can't quite remember what Jeff looked like, or any of the adults they had seen. He's noticing that some of the children that have been scampering about had looked off. Like the boy with the bowl-cut they had passed by earlier who had looked...frosty around the edges. Or the girl he thought had had red feathers in her hair but is now suspecting the feathers were something more than decorative.

Ringed fingers snap in front of his face again. Steve finally focused on the man named Eddie who was actually named Eddie which was different from Eddie somehow. Now that he's able to shove away the confusion that is this man's name, he's struck by the fact that Eddie was quite possibly the most gorgeous man Steve's ever seen. He had wide, dark eyes that made Steve think of seabeds in the deepest of waters. His hair was a riot of dark brown curls that for some reason brought to mind swirling schools of fish.

"Answer my questions," Eddie demanded. Steve blinked and, with some difficulty, remembered the previous interrogation.

"Uh, I'm Steve. Jeff invited me because I want to be a dad."

Eddie barked out a laugh.

"Oh, is that right? In that case, welcome to Hawkins' Halfway House for Homeless Horrors! I'm sure Jeff would love to finish introducing you to the rest of our children. Have you met Mike? He's a ghoul! Or Lucas! He's a werewolf and his dream is to become a basketball star. They both have very sharp teeth so watch out for their tantrums."

Jeff scowls at Eddie before turning back to Steve. Steve was starting to feel faint and he was no longer sure if he regretted drinking the night before or regretted not drinking more.

"Steve, it's okay. Eddy is making it sound scarier than it actually is. You said you wanted to be a dad, and we need foster parents that can help these kids learn how to blend in with humans. That's what the halfway house is for, but there's only so much they can learn while living in sanctuary. We need a way to have them experience the human world more directly while still keeping them safe, and I think you're the solution we've been looking for. What do you think?"

"I think I need to sit down," Steve said thinly. Eddie snorted derisively. Steve was slightly offended but honestly everything was a bit too much right now and he really would like to sit down for a moment just to process. Because monsters are real, apparently, and some of them need parents. Which was terrifying to think about but also not so much? Because all kids were little monsters some of the time right? If Steve could have a moment to get his bearings...

"This was a terrible idea, Jeffathan."

"I think it was a great idea, actually. I really think this could work."

"No. I forbid it. Don't do this again."

Then there was a sweet and beautiful humming. It made the edges of Steve's mind go fuzzy and soft. He blinked slowly and looked for the source of the sound. Eddie stared at him intently and when he spoke, his voice was like music.

"Steve," Eddie said. "Steve, do you want to make me happy?"

Steve nodded dumbly. He wanted that more than anything in the whole world. He wanted to make Eddie smile. He wanted Eddie to never stop singing.

"It would make me very happy if you went home and forgot everything you saw here today," Eddie continued.

Steve made a sad sound. He didn't want to forget. He didn't want to forget beautiful, gorgeous Eddie and this place that could make his dream come true.

"Please, Steve," Eddie's lyrical voice took on an aching mournful tone. "If you don't, you'll break my heart. I'll never be happy again."

The sadness in the song made Steve feel like the world was ending. Eddie couldn't be sad! Steve would rather die than make Eddie sad!

"I forget," Steve mumbled through the fog in his mind. "And you'll be happy?"

"So happy. I'd be the happiest man alive if you do that one little thing for me, my sweet Steve."

Steve nods again. "Okay."

"Good boy," Eddie croons. Steve felt like he swallowed the sun at those words. He followed Eddie as Eddie guided him through the halfway house. Eddie hummed his lovely song the entire way.

"Go home and forget," Eddie sang one last time as he helped Steve get behind the wheel of his car.

"Yeah," Steve replied dreamily and drove away.

--

The telephone rang shrilly through his apartment. Steve stumbled out of bed and picked up, only fumbling it a little bit.

"H'llo?"

"Steve, what the hell, I've been trying to get a hold of you all day! Where have you been?" Robin's voice rang out, making Steve flinch. He scrubbed his free hand over his face tiredly.

"Home? I just woke up," Steve said. It was weird that he was fully dressed, he thought dazedly, but it wouldn't be the first time he's passed out drunk in his street clothes. Was he wearing this shirt yesterday? He could've sworn he'd worn the navy one.

"What? Just now? It's like five in the evening!"

"Huh. That'd explain the weird dream," Steve mumbled.

"Was it the one where you get seduced by a giant squid? Because I don't need to know more about your weird tentacle fetish."

"I don't have a tentacle fetish! I had the dream ONE time, and I wasn't being seduced, I was getting drowned and it was terrifying!"

"To-may-to, to-mah-to."

"Whatever, this one was weirder anyway."

"I find that hard to believe but now I'm morbidly curious. Hit me with it."

"...I don't remember."

"There goes my entertainment for the evening."

"Was there a reason you called, Robin?"

"Yes! I met this girl named Chrissy and I swear Steve, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen..."

Beautiful. Steve had the faint impression of dark eyes and silver rings, but it was quickly washed away like a child's sandcastle in the tide under the onslaught of Robin's ramblings. As he listened to his best friend, he couldn't help but feel there was something he'd forgotten. There was something he'd been planning on doing today, wasn't there...?

...oh, well. If it was really important, he'd remember eventually.

[mizzfizz]

... can you guess what happened? (it was a fail)

k, bet, i am doing a revamp tmw morning. praying the ship sails on smooth seas

[girasolen]

By far my favourite part of Volo's Sinnoh outfit is that he obviously made it himself.

There's no way Jubilife was casually selling this 100% silk Arceus cosplay that he just happened to buy. This raises a lot of incredibly funny questions:

Did he make it prior to the game and he was just waiting for a good opportunity to use it? Or did he make it during the events of the game and that's why you can't find him half the time, he's too busy sewing? Did Cogita have to teach him to sew?

Does he carry the outfit around all the time just in case he sees an opportunity to overthrow God and he wants to wear his Special Godkiller Outfit for it? Does he wear it under his guild uniform all the time? Why does he refuse to overthrow God in his normal clothes and insist on wearing this outfit?

He must have also done his own hair, but during the temple reveal, it just cuts and magically transforms his bun into the Arceus haircut. Did the jump cut disguise a twenty minute time-lapse of him putting his hair into that updo, or does his hair naturally form that hairstyle and he just let it out of its bun?

He's so fucking funny. Who does it like him. Who else goes to the effort of having an elaborate outfit and hairstyle specifically made to commit deicide in.

[morally-gray101]

Can we talk about how unbelievably normal Kevin would've been if he wasn't the Son Of Exy? I mean seriously, even with that he's a history major. A history major. His mother died in a car crash, he was abused for over half his life, he ran away to live with his illegitimate father and yet he is still tries so hard to be normal. When Andrew gets at him for having no spine, it makes me so unspeakably mad because yes! of course he's scared! His abuser is chasing him across the country to his safe space and is torturing and killing his friends!

Kevin pretty much grew up in a cult and his response is to avoid confrontation with them because opening his mouth has always meant incurring Riko's wrath; it's better for everyone to take the path of least resistance- sit down, shut up and don't cause any problems. Kevin is pretty much the fawn response to Andrew's fight and Neil's flight and it's so annoying how critical of Kevin everyone was. He was trying his goddamn best and when Wymack literally had to tackle Kevin in his apartment to calm him down showed us how much pain and fear he was in, how much he had always been in.

He grew up in a cage and he never got the outlet Neil had when he ran, or when Andrew lashed out and got shipped somewhere else. Kevin Day deserved the life he was owed and he finally got it when he went to Palmetto. He finally got to play exy on his own terms, went pro, made the US Court AND got a family- Wymack, Abby, and Thea. Not only them, but the Foxes too. Neil and Andrew, Nicky, Aaron, Dan, Matt, Allison and Renee. He got everything he deserved in the end and yes that is the success story we all needed for him.

[gethellbcnt]

as it is now officially Sunday, i have something to announce!

Sera does, in fact, have that holy chocolate cake ; alongside this, she's also rocking killer melons.

the character designers are not allowed to make her mildly swan-coded and NOT go through with giving her those shapes!!

[clementimetodie]

Abuser is abusing me. I am going to respond by dragging myself down to their level and abusing them in the same way they abused me, but it's okay when I do it, because I am Morally Righteous, God Himself even told me so!

[howdoyousleep3]

if anyone wants to chat about priest ari 👀 or priest andy 👀 or father james 👀 or father steve 👀 my body is ready…

[kaiserkisser]

today is such a stark contrast to yesterday in how much i fucking hate today (vent/rant in tags bc i forgor to do it on my vent one)

[papersnatch]

i was going to come up with some really poetic and witty line to go with this (this drawing's based off a dream i had actually) but EVERYONE keeps mentioning 'THE GAY BEAM' and i CANT GET OVER IT

[twomanyfandomshelp]

alSO YOURE A HAMILFAN PLEASE RANT TO ME I LOVE HAMILTON WHATS YOUR FAVORITE SONG?

Yes of course I freaking love Hamilton!!! Me, my mom, and my sister all know every single word. We’ve watched it like 100 times on Disney+, we listen to the soundtrack all the time, and we went to see it when it came to the Fox Theater in Atlanta.

Oh my gosh, my favorite song? That’s an impossible question Jay. Watch me just list every single song lol.

I love the Schuylar Sisters because omg yes slay they’re perfect and I love them so much. Literally any song with any of them is a good one. Phillipa Soo (Eliza), Renée Elise Goldsberry (Angelica), and Jasmine Cephas Jones (Peggy) are so incredibly talented and I love all three of them. Also Say No To This because Jasmine is a queen and we love her.

Aaron Burr Sir, Farmer Refuted, Cabinet Battles 1 and 2, One Last Time, and Your Obedient Servant are just fun to sing because of the back and forth, especially when I can get my sister to jam with me.

I freaking love all of King George’s songs, he is a king and he slays (literally and figuratively).

Leslie Odom Jr. is freaking amazing, like, Wait For It and the Room Where It Happens are so freaking good and his voice is just so beautiful and I love him.

The war songs: Right Hand Man, Guns and Ships, History Has It’s Eyes on You, and Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down) are so freaking good too.

Also, I love Christopher Jackson, he’s an amazing George Washington.

Daveed Diggs did a freaking awesome job as Lafayette and Thomas Jefferson, he just has so much character and sass and I love him. Any song he’s in is a great one because he just gives 150% 24/7/365.

I’m going to stop myself here before I just list every single character 🤣

[nocentis]

Honeysuckle

⚶ ┆ Between his teeth and beneath his nails, an airy fruit light as love is bitten down to the rind. Even with his mouth full of pulp he finds himself desperate for her taste.

A sigh echoed and swallowed, kept locked in his chest like a secret. He held his breath until it burned; savored every hitch and every hum of her sacred song. Each curse spoken like a prayer, like praise; wept like gratitude wrenched raw from the soul — raked clean and spit out like the pit of a cherry. When he's forced to breathe, she is the hallowed riptide, and he would be blessed to drown in her lush.

Ripe as a peach at the crown of her cheeks; soft red flush so sticky sweet. Another of her colors comes to life in his mind. One shade closer to the divine.

⚶ ┆ Woven together like lace under the pale light of a waning moon. He can't be sure where he ends and she begins. She pierces straight through him like he belongs to her, and in some capacity, he knows that he does. There is no room left in his heart for desire of this nature. It has reached its bounds and collapsed inward on itself — a singularity the size of her that takes of these moments and stretches them infinitely, ever deeper, ever denser; inescapable.

Too much would never be enough and yet he counts every falling grain of timesand, tallies them up, and says his Hail Mary's in correspondence. Blessed is he for these hands to hold her, for these eyes to view her, for this mouth to speak her name. Blessed is he for the breath and the bread, the water, the whine.

Under his breath, to no god in particular, he issues his thanks.

"You're still awake." Her voice is strained by the small hours. The calm is sweeping her away and yet she remains afloat, waiting for the rise and fall of his chest to slow before she sinks into sleep. "Your train leaves early. You should rest."

His own voice is gravelly, thick with syrup, when he attempts to quell, "There will be another train. There is always another train."

There is nothing more important than this — her head on his chest and his fingers in her hair, scarlet as the sun's kiss and softer than silk.

She shifts so that she can look at him, and the nightglow catches the honey of her eye. "You should rest," she reiterates, and though she aims to chastise, he can feel her care bleeding through her touch.

"I will," he promises, though he chooses not to specify when. "I'm not ready for tomorrow."

He feels her hum before he hears it. Gentle as a lullaby, it dims his vision, and he finds a brief reprieve inside his eyelids.

"You're ready," she assures, succinct as ever.

"You're right," he concedes through a sigh, "I don't want this to end."

"Then don't end it," she slides her hand into his, weaves their fingers together in an airtight knit, "Water it. Let it grow. Keep it alive while we're apart."

He responds first through a light squeeze, a bit of humor trapped in his chest, and he can't deny that, "There are some things even I can't kill."

[bananasfosterparent]

[madame-mongoose]

Wanted to personally thank you for being a part of the growing Fandom Defined movement! Imagination is often full of sin and you spreading awareness of the dangers of artistic expression is doing real good!! Thank you again for remembering to create fiction in a God Honoring Way!

Of course!! In fact I have changed my oc story to reflect this!! Zekira is now a god fearing catholic who follows the bible!!

She will never sin again. Thank you anon and God bless 💖